And yet, I smile…

Tonight, a fellow twitter friend @Kristiecookauth inquired to how I was doing.

Well, I would love to say that everything is peachy all the time… but then I would be lying to you and to myself. Because everything isn’t always peachy all the time…

However, in the midst of the chaos and pain of situations I sometimes have no control over (and sometimes I have more control over then I realize) I can’t help but laugh, smile and just generally be “okay”. Now, sometimes I rip people’s heads off… just depends on the day and who I come in contact with for the moment. Unfortunately, those in my REAL LIFE get the latter of the two… and those on twitter get the smiles.

Why is that? Well, I could go with the whole transparency issue… it’s easier to wear a mask on twitter then it is to wear one for your husband, wife, kids, mom, dad, etc. Sometimes the people that are closest to you bear the brunt of situations that have nothing to do with them. And sometimes… you just smile.

Today, I had the best (or is that the worst?) of both worlds. Today there was laughter, there was tears, there was joy, there was sadness and there was anger. Did I display all those emotions… Why, yes I did. Did my family see them? Why, yes they did. Was I proud of my emotions, well no. Well, okay maybe the joy and laughter… but not proud of the rest.

But sometimes… You just gotta break. And today, I broke. To. Pieces. Shattered on the ground. World broken.

Why? Well, a variety of reasons. It’s that monthly hormonal time for one… but other things piled on top of it and it just got to be too much and I broke under the pressure.

However, then I am forced to think about the fact that I have it better then A LOT of people in the world. And while things might be mega crappy right now, this too shall pass because Greater is He who is in me, then he who is in the world (1 John 4:4).

I have a favorite verse I like to lean on when times are rotten… James 1:2-3 which says, “Consider it pure joy when you encounter trials of many kinds for you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” Or in Eisley’s translation, “It’s all Good.” You know, I love the word perseverance! It means steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement. I have been called to persevere! Even in my crappy circumstances…

So yes… I can smile. Smile in the knowledge that “It’s all Good!” and that whatever I go through now, will just bring me to a greater good.

So. Be. It.

I just wish I knew what the ultimate greater good was at the moment

So, I will leave you with a song… It’s called, Pieces by my favorite band RED and it’s awesome. Take the time to listen.