Some folks on twitter this weekend (in between me thinking I was dying from a 24 hour stomach bug… ya, fun) were mentioning names they would NEVER use in their WIP. Some of them are obvious to me, what with Pop Culture and whatnot… Like Brittany, Tiger, Lindsay, etc.
But some of them weren’t! I had no idea why some people wouldn’t want names like Edward (Well, okay maybe too sparkle worthy now) or Jacob (too fangy? But a great name if I do say so myself.) or Bella (soooo in, right?)… no but really. There were some names that people had issues with that made me scratch my head. No, I was kidding about the Edward, Jacob and Bella thing. I know you wouldn’t want to use those right now… or ever again.
However, what names make YOU scream HECK NO at your monitor? And why? Also, what other things are a definite ”no-way” in your manuscript? Painted toenails? Manicured eyebrows on guys? Deep dimples? Torn jeans? Seriously here, these are some things that some authors CANNOT put into their MS.
As for me, here are my will not evers… Laugh at will… And yes Will is one of “those” names. Because I can only see a hunky pirate 
But that is me! I love the name… I just can’t use it. To each their own. He is a hunk.
So lets be gettin’ on mateys…
I could never name any of my characters Ice-T, Snoop Dawg, J-lo, Martina, Michael, Justin, Billy Ray (or Miley for that matter) or Vanilla Ice… Just saying. Mary, Amy, Heather, Michael, Bob, Egor, will also not work for my novels. Too popular.
As for THINGS I never put in my novel, well it’s all up to the characters. But usually bathroom scenes are generally not a good idea… for any novel, not just mine. I don’t want to hear how many squares the character used to “make sure the job is done” or how their beloved “held their hair”… Maybe it’s just a pet peeve but… eww.
I also don’t want to see overtly mundane things… like when they tie their shoes (unless its important to the dexterity of the character), flip the omelet (just that they eat will do), what color their toe jam was (unless it directly correlates with the character freakish nature, umm eww)… now some mundane things are totally acceptable… but really, please watch for overwrites… I try and not always succeed.
Another big DONT DO for me is TMI. I can tell you a scene…. then I can show you a scene… then I can cram a scene down your throat. Umm I vote for the middle option. Too much showing can get boring and generally a big RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY! I once read a book COMPLETELY out of my genre for a beta read. It was a good lesson for both of us. But there was a scene in which there was TMI… Yes some or the information was needed, but I think he failed at the scene because it was too crammed full of the “details that didn’t matter”. What color the shirt was, how it was wrinkled and precisely where. Ahh!
Okay… Umm soo… we know what I think are NOT ON YOUR LIFE things… what about you? What are absolute NOs for your novels?
And if there are, is there every instances where these absolute nos can be changed into maybes or even a yes?
I will, in fact, use the name Jacob in my novel. Y'know why? Because it means "wrestles with God," and that name is perfect for my character. Also because, once I'd shortened it to Jake, it reminded me of Jake Barnes in Hemingway's The Sun Also Rises. It never once occurred to me that Twilight would make that name off-limits, 'cause I've never read Twilight.
And, since my intended audience probably won't consist of Twihards (wonder why that would be?), it won't bug them either. :)
It's hard for me to say on names. Unless they are an ancillary character who only pops up a couple times, all of my characters' names are specifically chosen based on meaning, origin, etc. There are some names that bring a bad taste to my mouth based on past experience, but that doesn't mean they won't show up. In fact, a couple already have - they are bad guys. LOL (But they play very minor roles; even my major bad guys have their names for a reason.)
As for other things...well, there are certain lines I won't cross. Some are religious based. Others are just moral - glamorizing domestic or child abuse, child porn, rape, murder, etc. It's one thing to include these things from the victim's perspective; a whole other, NEVER, EVER DO kind of thing to justify it or make it look attractive at all. Some authors can write it from the perp's perspective so you kind of understand the motivator but still feel it's absolutely wrong. But I don't think I could even go there. I guess I really don't want to get into that kind of person's head. Yuck.
And Egor? Seriously?! LOL
Here is my #1 turnoff in a book, and I will NEVER, EVER, EVER do this: I hate it when you have read almost to the middle of a book and the writer throws a twist in what the character looks like or "is" in the supernatural sense. Um wait..what? I read a book where I learned that the guy was african american at about page 200, HAD NO CLUE! Nothing wrong with it AT ALL, but that was so not what he looked like in my mind! I didn't even have a clue that he had dark skin for that matter! It literally almost ruined the whole thing because then I could not wrap my head around this character I thought I knew. Had the same thing happen with a paranormal and was clueless that the MC was a vampire until mid-way! Not for me thanks! And Igor is a definite NO for me!
One of my NOs is never writing that a character looks like a specific celebrity. I've read too many books where it either ruins the mental image I already had of the character or the book is a few years old and the once admired celebrity is now a train wreck.
Excellent point! One everyone should adhere to!
Dragons Forever
Inspirational Fiction
You know what's weird? How do we even PICK the names of our characters? Do we set out that "in this book I'm gonna write, I'm gonna have a character named ELIZA! Yeah... Eliza!!"
It's like this little personality lives inside my head and comes to me with a name, with features, quirks and ticks and they tell ME all about them. Strangely, I see a lot of personalities of folks I've known from my past threaded in them, but maybe not so strange after all.
No no's in character names: The ones that don't gel with a personality. I'm not going to have a character named Pearl be a hard-bitten detective. Although...it would be kind of funny.
No no's in a novel? I hate it when you can tell an author switches a main character's convictions mid-series. All seemingly to please fans b/c they read the forums... If a character says for 5 books she does not and will not go to bed with another female? Don't flip it and reverse it on a whim that has no bearing on the story whatsoever and does not further the plot/character growth. It's fine if it's always been "the deal", but gratuitous controversial topics? Why? It takes away from the story.
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