I wrote my first MS RINGS OF TIME (Mandorian Prophecies – YA Fantasy) in third person. Since it was my first book and it took me upwards of five years to write, it was awesome and didn’t need much to be perfect.

*cue the bozo the clown music*

Ahem… Then I wrote RUNAWAY CHOICES. Which literally ran away with my brain and didn’t return until the WIP was over. And strangely enough… I wrote it in first person.

Hmmm… Now I have thought about it long and hard and wondered why I wrote it in first person. I think because I wanted to capture all Beck’s inner turmoil without the fudgement of a narrator (You like that word… I just made it up…). She was a very complex character dealing with a lot of inner emotions and experiences she had to be able to play off to really see where the action was taking us.

My beta readers cheered at the pace of the book and how it wrapped up. I entered it into the ACFW contest under Contemporary Women’s Fiction (I think–lol) and got two raving reviews! Then the third was a big crap-load. Though, the third judge did say she wanted to find out what happens. Which is positive… though why she would want to finish a book she rated under 50… I will never know. But we are moving past that…

So, right… My betas came back and loved it. One of whom is my Fantasy Friend, Debbie (*Waves* Miss ya!). She has read RINGS OF TIME and when we got together after she read RUNAWAY CHOICES she says, “Eisley, I couldn’t help but wonder what ROT would be like if you wrote it in first person…”

Of course, since it’s my baby I wanted to tell her she had grown a third head sometime during the night. But the more I thought about it… the more I wondered. And hey, what would it hurt?

In April 2010, I did rewrite RINGS OF TIME. Added a few scenes, took out a few scenes… and now it’s resting.

When I started DEGAN RISING (Middle Grade – Fantasy) I knew for certain it was going to be split POV in first person, cuzz it’s fun and has no limits.

However, my whole point of this post… about first person POV…

Most agents hate it.

Yup, you heard me right… hate hate hate it…

Why, oh why, would I write three (or four) novels in first person when agents hate it?

Because my audience loves it! All the children who have read DEGLAN RISING so far are thrilled with the story and come away with a big cheesy grin on their face… I wish I could have taken a picture of the last one. It’s priceless! This is why I write… This is why I will continue to write… This is why first person worked.

A ten year old said, “I felt like I was right there in the action and that I was the character…”

#Win/#win if you ask me!

So what do I do with this knowledge now….? Agents hate first person and audiences love it.

*shrug* I guess I just keep plugging away at the agent lists to find a first person lover of Middle Grade Fantasy… there has to be a couple out there… otherwise Percy Jackson wouldn’t have been published I just have to find them.

Oh and two children have asked me for the sequel to DEGLAN RISING.

#win/win/win/win!

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Adopt it. Live it. Breath it. It’s on!

The band is SuperChick and the song is from the album Beauty from Pain…

IT’S ON

And now for the Lyrics…

It all comes down to this
You take your best shot, might miss
You take it anyway
You’re gonna make your move today
Got the will, you’ll find the way
To change the world someday
Grab this moment before it’s gone
Today’s today
Got the will, you’ll find the way
To change the world someday
Grab this moment before it’s gone
Today’s your day..

It’s on and on
It’s on and on
Today’s your day
So c’mon bring it on

And the view will never change
Unless you decide to change it
Don’t feel like it today
Just show up anyway
And though life will take you down
It only matters if you let it
Get up, go through, press on
Today’s your day

It’s on and on
It’s on and on
Today’s your day
So c’mon bring it on

And though life will take you down
It only matters if you let it
Get up, go through, press on,
Today’s your day

It’s on and on
It’s on and on
Today’s your day
So c’mon bring it on

—
Ahhhh their lyrics say it so… so… SO very well. It’s work. It’s hard. You are going to get knocked down. Press on. Today’s your day.

I am sending out 5 queries today. It’s sooo on.

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Like all first, second and maybe even fifth drafts, it’s surely not ready for submission, publication or the general public. But it is ready for Beta Readers… a couple of whom were emailed last night with squeals of delight with the attached PDF file.

I know there are things that probably don’t make sense to the reader, which is what Beta’s are for. Since I wrote it, everything makes sense in my mind, but it wont necessarily make sense to my readers. So I hope everyone will come back with honest opinions and let me know what works, what doesn’t and what is all screwy! Cuzz it’s what I need.

So while I wait for the first Beta readers to come back, I thought I would be fun to identify two things I search and destroy in my first drafts, which make my MS tighter and much easier to read.

This is just one opinion, but I know this stuff to be true in my OWN writing.

THAT: Poor that… it’s so abused in today’s society. I mean really. So abused in fact writers really need to give it a break. And unless you are speaking of “that object right there….” you should never, EVER use it in a MS. Using that is like saying, Blah Blah Blah… It’s a filler word and it slows the pace down and it just a rotten word. Just say no! Example:

It reminded her that no matter how large the problem, or how small, that He was always there to guide and protect.

*twitch*

It reminded her no matter how large the problem, or how small, He was always there to guide and protect.

Ya digg? Do you see the first sentence is “fine”. In fact, it’s the way some people talk. Fine. But in your MS, it does NOT belong.

Suggestion: Do a SEARCH/FIND for that and highlight them. Then read through your MS and I guarantee you will be able to take out at least 95% of them.

Serious. Try it.

ADVERBS: I don’t feel very sorry for the adverbs of the world… mainly because you use them every day but man are they abused. Adverbs are those pesky -ly words that seem to creep up in a MS and part of the reason your critiques say, “Please show, don’t tell.”

-ly adverbs SCREAM TELL…

She walked quickly down the dimly lit hall, hopefully to find the creature she sought dutifully.

*screams running*

(yes I know, that was a gross overuse, but I had to get my point across and  I have come across sentences like this!)

Please, please don’t do this to me, or your reader. This sentence tells me a lot but shows me nothing. We, as readers, want to experience the hall and the creepy of it all. We experience NOTHING when you write it this way… because the adverb gets in the way. It handcuffs the reader and the writer!

Now, not all adverbs are evil. Some have to be there. Some just move you forward past something that doesn’t matter in your MS and this is completely fine. Just watch for the abuse.

Suggestion: SEARCH/FIND/HIGHLIGHT “ly”. Count how many you have used in your MS. The number may shock you. Then take most of them out by SHOWING us the action, instead of telling us.

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Yup, it’s finished…Now what? Frankly, now’s the time to rejoice I don’t have to sit in front of the computer and bang out my thoughts. Now, is time to close it and let it rest in it’s pool of words… not opening it again for at least a couple weeks… no really.

No. Really.

People who haven’t completed their first novel yet won’t really grasp this concept, so I thought I would talk about the reason it’s important to allow your manuscript to rest.

When I completed my first novel, THE RINGS OF TIME, and took my first pass after it was done… I really struggled. I had been on this journey with these characters for five years! And though I loved my book… I was just tired.

I cried… a bit. It was embarrassing. I cried because I struggled with what I was reading, finding fault in everything and after deleting 12 or so pages of the first twelve pages, I had a friend tell me to close the MS and not come back until I could read it with fresh eyes.

Eisley say what?

Fresh eyes? What exactly does that mean? These are the eyes God gave me, how can they be fresh?

But, because I was so frustrated and I loved my MS dearly, I did it in hopes that I would not want to burn it in the closest fire.

A week went by, tempted to open it my friend said, “Back off Eisley!”

Good friend.

Week two. Week three. Week four. Month two… It was summer, so I had a bit more to consume my time…

I think at the end of month two (and after I had written some UNSEEN CHRONICLES, some RUNAWAY CHOICES, blogs and other things) I felt it was time to reopen the MS.

With a quick call to friend, “Yes, Eisley… you may open your MS now.”

*Squeeeeeeal* then *panic* in that order…

Would I really feel differently about my MS? Would I really have new FRESH eyes for this story? Would… would… what if… but how… plaguing thoughts.

“Just open the freaking thing…” Says friend. Good friend.

I peeked into the file, wondering what I might see. When I closed it two months ago there were black words on a white digital page with no life. No life because they had already sucked all the life from me in the last five years! Peeking into the file, I promptly minimized it, got up from my computer and ran to the kitchen for coffee… drank a full cup, paced around the computer desk, then sat again, tapping my foot wondering if I could really do this. If I would really love it all over again.

Cautiously, I reached for my mouse. The arrow clicked on the toolbar, restored the MS and I began to read the abandoned words on the page.

I read quickly, devouring the text.. I was through the third page when I realized that instead of dull black and white words on a page… I saw people, colors, sounds, smells and… was that dust on my fingers? I inhaled the scents described and gasped… I loved this manuscript!

I think I cried again… I am such a baby. I realized at that moment, my friend was right! Resting was exactly what my manuscript needed.

Dare I say, exactly what *I* needed to see my manuscript in the way it was meant to be seen. Like cracking open a much anticipated best seller… it happened. I loved my manuscript again.

So… RUNAWAY CHOICES will see rest time. Not sure how much; not sure when I will open it again, but it is resting and fermenting a bit.

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Ahem, why yes I am listening to them right now, why do you ask?

Totally not what I intended to post though. Actually I have a bit of fabulous news… well fabulous in a “I am one in a thousand” way.

The Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest Round 1 announcement was yesterday and as luck would have it… I made the cut.

*silence*

Ok, where is the applause? Really now, this is something (Really its nothing)! I have been picked, along with 999 of my closest (who are they—Oh I know two!) friends, over 4000 other entries! So, the 1000 of us now go into the next round where they will judge our long pitches.

My long pitch absolutely rocks because of this Faerie Princess I know (who doesn’t like chocolate–what princess doesn’t like chocolate? Isn’t that illegal?!) who helped me with it repeatedly…. And I have to mention the couple other writer buddies who read over my query twelve hundred times and emailed me back telling me what they thought. Really, I couldn’t have done it without the support staff I employ with payment of love and sprinkles.

So… noting that it’s not JUST me out there and knowing my long pitch rocks… we are totally making the March 23rd cut too. No doubts… now if it could make the first 3,000 word cut (round three), I would be most thrilled. Cuzz, I know the story rocks, they just need to agree. *wink*

*Sigh* Yes, somewhat celebrating today… by listening to Owl City. And maybe writing a few words in my RUNAWAY CHOICES novel… which is sitting around 64K now. I can’t wait to finish so I can edit… what a nerd I am.

That is okay, at least I embrace my nerdiness… and smile today.

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Usually I write in order… A leads to B… B heads into C and D brings up the rear… followed by the rest of the alphabet. However, there are times when Z needs to be written… Like with Runaway Choices.

One day a few months ago, my characters weren’t speaking to me very well. I would start, then delete… start again, then delete more. Finally frustrated, I was about to close my WIP when I realized I could still write… the ending!

It’s not very often I write out of order… in fact I can count on one hand the times I have done it, but this instance was going to work out just peachy. Because regardless of how the characters acted during the A-Y sections, we would still end up at Z.

Now we come to this week. I had written through sections M-N-O-P and was headed for Q when I realized I forgot a small detail in M… I went back, edited it in, and then read through the sections to make sure I didn’t miss anything… All of the sudden, from right field I was broadsided by MC2! Not only does he throw me a wrench but he also throws me a bone. He decides to doing something completely different then anything I had written thus far in section M! Furthermore, it now wouldn’t match up in N-O-P. I paused, thinking about how I could work this out, if it could really be where the character wanted to go. Matched it up with Z and BINGO, it would work perfectly.

However, that meant I had to write new words, while deleting others. Which meant instead of my word count going up… it went down, down, down…

Not all for loss though… it’s a better story this way when I follow the characters lead. More emotional because of this scene, and yes it’s suppose to be emotional, it’s Women’s Religious Fiction… so umm, yah, totally got the heartstrings with this one.

Thanks MC2…

So yes, I am a character driven writer. Plot seldom drives my words. Though, in Mandorian Prophecies 3… it might have to. Because I have to tie up all the loose ends. We will see.

Off to adventure with MC1 in Runaway Choices some more today… she is in her final 15,000 words of her journey, which is panning out nicely

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So without further adieu… here it is. The first chapter in my current WIP…

RUNAWAY CHOICES

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